My weekend

My weekend was near perfect, I had one moment when one of life's events just made me feel like life was too overwhelming and I really let it affect the way I felt and acted. So I have decided to focus on the most important positive things I experienced this weekend.

Friday - I saw two of my previous Sunday school students at their wedding reception. Chelsea Garcia was in one of my last classes. She is such a sweet girl and I always remember how much she enjoyed singing and just a joy to have in class. Her groom was Kyle Higgins. Kyle was that kid you had to rope back into the lesson and make sure you kept him engaged so he wouldn't become bored and start distracting himself and others. They were both great kids to teach and actually they probably taught me more than I could have taught them.

Saturday - I spent time with my previous roommates at the Manor and it was nice and relaxing. I also was fortunate to go to the Women's broadcast. I have to be honest I was not too alert during the talks but I perked up with the following: 

Sister Julie Beck - "Through the blessings of the temple they will be armed with power and blessed to receive the “key of the knowledge of God.”  Through the ordinances of the priesthood found only in temples, they will be blessed to fulfill their divine, eternal responsibilities, and they will promise to live as committed disciples."

Sister Barbara Thompson- "Our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, told us in our last general conference, “As you and I go to the holy houses of God, as we remember the covenants we make within, we will be more able to bear every trial and to overcome each temptation. In this sacred sanctuary we will find peace; we will be renewed and fortified.”

I am really striving to go to the temple often not only on Thursday nights when I work but an additional day a week. I have found it helps me be calmer and at peace with my current trial of dealing with my medical issue; and the truth of that was shown to me this weekend.


Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf- "Sisters, wherever you are, whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love." His talk was truly amazing.

When he said this part I couldn't help tear up. Again, as I face my current trial I let that feeling of being alone creep in but then one of my friends will text or call and I know I am not alone.

Sunday - I saw Elder Spencer Wilheim give his homecoming talk. I was touched by his words and to see that he has grown into a fine young man. I remember the one day in class he asked me a question and the only answer I had was: "Spencer, just keep doing what you are doing now and everything will work out Heavenly Father knows what is in your heart and everything will be fine". Again another reminder that I need to take my own advice. I look forward to attending his reception one day.

I also was able to hear my first home teachers junior companion, Brent Williams, give a talk. He is now a High Council member. Here was this man, a father of two children giving a talk and all I could think of was "WOW, he used to sit in my living room and be a skater type boy kind of shy but sharing a sweet message".

Like I mentioned earlier, my weekend had a big bump in the road but I have decided that I really need to stay positive and while it helps to sometimes vent on the blog I am thinking I need to just be positive and happy on here.
I hope you have a great week!! I know I am going to try to do so.

Happy Wednesday!!

Today we had our internal ISO14001 audit. It was ok considering we have fallen behind and now have a lot of work ahead of us for the first phase audit in three weeks.
I went to an alternative medicine doctor last Thursday that many of my friends have seen this lady and all think she is great. I thought it was interesting and purchased my supplements afterwards. I am now a pill overload taking human being. I also found out I am allergic to dairy, eggs, gluten, brown rice foods. Along with gluten food. So since last Friday I have only eaten fruits, veggies and meat. I thought I would miss Diet Coke the most and I have to admit so far I am doing ok. I did keep looking at a can during a meeting thinking you look so good but you are so bad for me.
Today we had Panera for lunch and I was ok. However, for some reason I could smell bread all afternoon and wanted some. I am happy to report that no bread was eaten.
I also learned about tapping. It is a little out there but I like it.
Someone told me - if you do all these things and they make you feel better than do them. You know I don't know how much better I am doing - but I do feel better maybe it is mental.
Why?
People ask me everyday if 1. Are you ok? 2. You look really tired today? 3. How are you feeling? It makes me wonder do I look that bad and I just don't notice it? Are they concerned or just trying to make me feel worse? So I just smile and say of course I feel ok I am here today. I also say, no I didn't feel tired but now that you mentioned it I do. I know people have good intentions but everyday those words make me wonder am I just fooling myself that I feel better?
So I am now off to get my hair done - maybe I wont look tired tomorrow if I do.

Sorry for the crazy week

So I read my last post and I was so up and positive...must have been high on life. Last week was just one challenge after another.
I think when it finally hit me that I had a medical procedure in my future all fear hit me. I have never spent the night at the hospital as a patient. Yes, I stayed nights at the hospital with my mom and then when my dad but that is different. Why? Well I was there to be with them and keep them company; which is what hit me in an odd way. I have no mom to stay up with me when this happens. It is strange how after so many years something like this can just get you emotionally and make you miss someone so much. The relationship I had with my mother was not a typical mother daughter type. She was ill most of my pre teen to the time she passed in 92 or 93. Still when she knew I needed that gentle touch or caressing of the hair she did it and I am grateful for those tender moments.
So I felt sorry for myself and wondered what am I going to do.
I think not going to the temple this week also really had an impact so I am hoping to attend a session tomorrow.
I have also made a decision that I will not work long crazy hours. I need to balance my life. I say this as I got to work at 6:30 am and I am still here. But baby steps will get me there.

So for those of you that I totally flaked on by not responding to e-mails, calls, texts or just flaking on plans, I am sorry and I ask for your forgiveness. I know you understand that sometimes life happens and emotions put you in a dark place or a place where you see the light but you think you don't want to be a part of it. For those of you that I freaked out on and maybe said or did stupid things well...that's just me and thanks for being there.  

A recap of the past few days

OK so I am walking to work from where I park across at another business in a hidden parking lot we rent. As I am walking in the other companies driveway I look no cars coming and I enter the driveway and I hear a car coming and I turn to my right I see a big white F150 coming straight at me. I keep walking because I see him and of course he sees me right? Then I stop in my walk as I realize he is not slowing down and if I keep walking I am going to become a hood ornament. So he stops and smiles, says sorry and motions me to go ahead I smile and say "No thank you, you seem to be late and I don't want you to be any later" He motions me to go and I say "Please go, I really am not comfortable going in front of your truck. He pulls up and apologizes again and I say "Thank you, but please be careful next time...have a good day". Fortunately for me one or two of our employees saw the events and were concerned for my safety. Sweet huh?

I had my ultrasound last week. I am very naive about how medical procedures work.So I will just say it was interesting. I received a call this afternoon with the results and I now need to see a gynecologist. Medical procedure is in my future.

Spencer is leaving La Jolla for the windy city and I am sad. While we lived close to each other we didn't spend a lot of time together but it gave me a sense of security to know I had a family member near by. First time in a LONGGG time that I have lived close to a family member that I trust with my life and love more than life. Seriously I would lay down my life for Spencer, Laura or Natalie - these are the kids that are the closest to me having children so there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. 

Last week during the SD blackout he was in Chicago with his mom. I was saddened by this but it also gave me an opportunity to realize he would soon be gone. Good luck my retirement plan nephew has a bright future.

So back to the blackout that was an exciting night. I was scheduled to work at the San Diego temple but at 3:35 or so the power went out. We had issues with our compressors so I thought great now it took our lights out..we soon found out it was all over San Diego. I drove home and realized I was all alone in this big city. Well not really but it helped me see that I was semi prepared, I have good neighbors and never ever give up your extra fully charged cell phone. My work phone is T Mobile and they lost service. My personal phone Verizon was fully charged but in Carlsbad with my French co worker.

I went to an Angels game on Friday and the 9th inning was so exciting I bruised my hands clapping. Yes, clapping. I guess for all the games I missed this season I made up for all that clapping and bruised my hands.
By the way I shared a link to a talk on FB of an article I came across by accident on Sunday. Seriously I did not go looking for this article it just popped up in a search I did. I guess when you set a goal to develop faith in an aspect you need to prepare to have things happen and read them. I don't want people to think I am one of those desperate girls who all of a sudden is wanting to get married. I am not. I just know that since I was maybe 6 or 7 I always said I never wanted to get married or have kids. I can only relate it to my parents divorce. The feeling became stronger and solid as I saw my mom's 2nd marriage as it really was and my dad (step) was no longer my heroe and I just resented him for who he was. I am not a man hater or bitter...I just had a hard time believing I could ever be married but have seen so many good examples of good marriages in my life. I just have never believed I was capable or deserved to have one? I don't know. OK enough disclosure.

The past week has been comical and interesting but one thing I have learned NEVER GIVE UP!!! I have an amazing family and friends.

How lucky am I?

OK so it has been one long emotional week.
I had a great time last weekend with my previous roommates Sharon and Eileen and the person I recruited to replace me Yolanda who visited me in SD. We went to the SD Temple and it was amazing followed by a picnic in my living room with some of my new friends from my PB Ward. Then it was off to cruise the streets of Gas Lamp Quarters and Downtown. A lot of traffic and entertaining.
Oh wait, I forgot on Saturday I got a call from work and almost had to come in for an EE relations matter.
So Monday I began with that task at hand.
Sharon texted me that afternoon to let me know the long awaited letter from my doctor's office had arrived. I texted her back and asked her to open it and call me. She was hesitant but I was anxious to hear that my severe anemia was cured. However, I heard her read the words "Your anemia numbers are significantly lower make an appointment immediately". I couldn't quite understand how this could be as I am taking Iron supplements, birth control, eating red meat and green colorful vegetables each day. So I thanked her and quickly hung up and dialed to make an appointment.
I was emotional because I realized that somehow I had managed to convince myself that I was getting better but the reality is I am struggling with simple things sometimes and still feel incredibly tired and cold at odd times.
I went to Seal Beach the next afternoon. I had planned to work a couple of hours but I worked until 1:30 pm and broke down to my GM as I confided in him about my health issue.
When I arrived at my doctors I felt a sense of peace as I smelled the ocean breeze. I went in and was quickly seen. My PA does not understand why my numbers are decreasing even with the iron supplement and increase in red meat and green colorful veggies. I am having an ultrasound on September 13 in Long Beach.
I know some of you may be reading this and thinking high drama...maybe it is but remember this is my life and my blog. But honestly I am realizing I am not young. I am supposed to be trying to lose weight for my health but all of a sudden I can't because 1. I get very tired after starting to walk and my goal was to be running by now. 2. I have also now been told not to exercise or exhort myself because of my low iron - but keep up the weight loss Is that a little contradictory from a medical provider. 3. I went to the Nurse Practitioner last October complaining about some of my symptoms and was told don't worry all this is normal as you get older. Now it will be close to a year from when I went in and I went from anemic to severely anemic to ultra severely anemic?
The other side of the coin is that I have often been told how I would be a good wife or mother and I have always thought that was not something that was in the cards for me. Why? Long story for another blog but basically I just didn't think I was good enough for either role. Now I realize that hey maybe people are right and maybe just maybe it is too late? After all wouldn't it have been nice to go home to a family (my husband) and just had a hug, a blessing and the sense of security that there was someone else there to comfort me and let me know things would be ok. Then I remembered how often just having my mom hold me or my hand or caress my hair would be so comforting and was saddenned that I did not have that in this life anymore. So I was an emotional crying mess for about 32 hours or so.
I am no longer crying every few minutes and I am trying to be positive and not focus on self pity. I may not be healthy but all week several people keep telling me they can tell I have lost weight...ha ha someone must be paying them to tell me this as I don't see it but hey I will start believing this. I am focusing on how blessed I have been with amazing family and friends.
If you are reading this and you are a family member; thank you for accepting me as part of the Eldred, Michaud family. I am truly blessed that I was adopted by the Michaud/Lopez family and even luckier when my mom married into the Eldred family. Yes my family ties may be a little confusing and disfunctional but I wouldn't trade my family for any other family in the world. Thank you for being the best family to me.
If you are reading this and you are a friend. Wow I am starting to tear up. Many of you I consider close friends even almost sisters and your families my extended family. The influence you have been to me I can not even begin to express my gratitude but know that I love you and often think of you. I am truly blessed to have friends who are loving, supporting and have unconditional love for me. Thank you for being my friend.
If you are a stranger I would ask that you think about those people who are in your life that have blessed your life and let them know and thank them.
I know my health issues will be resolved. I will update as I learn things and if you know anything to  help me become less anemic please let me know.

It;'s August

I can't believe we are in the middle month of the third quarter of 2011. Why does time fly so fast? I don't remember time going by this fast when I was younger. In fact I recall time going by so slow that I would often wish I was older or doing something else. Oh if I only had understood my parents were right when they told me not to wish my life away.
Life has been interesting but good. I recognize each day by little things how fortunate I am and how blessed I am. I don't know why but lately I have tried to be appreciate of the little things. Don't get me wrong I still freak out that people are not showing up to work and become three day no call terminations, are continuously absent just because and I have positions to fill. Know any screw machinists? Send them my way pleeease!!!
Regardless this past week I learned that an extended family member is having heart issues. It scares me as he is not much older than me. I hope he knows how much he is loved and appreciated and in many peoples prayers. This makes me determined to ensure I do the Heart Walk 2011-2012 San Diego, CA check out my link: http://heartwalk.kintera.org/faf/donorReg/donorPledge.asp?msource=Gigya&ievent=447197&supId=333595812
Not just to earn money to help the cause and educate people but most important to honor those in my life that are affected by this and to help me get healthier. For so long I have just put work as my priority and let life pass me by not only with my physical health but my social life. I have improved my social life so now it is time to work on the physical health. So join me in the challenge to get healthier.
My biggest challenge this weekend was finding a set of dishes I would enjoy. I liked the modern trendy stuff but felt I would outgrow them by next year. So after hours of shopping I opted for white square dishes. I will purchase some colored ones to add as accent.
My new place is fabulous this will be the first weekend I will spend there since I moved in on August 1. My previous roommates will be visiting so that is exciting. The not so exciting part is knowing I have to finish unpacking or at least setting things up by Saturday morning. Keep in mind tonight is the only free night I have. Tomorrow I have temple, Thursday I am going to go see Mary Poppins, Friday oh yeah I can work on it that night too and then they will be here.
So this post has no real topic just a lot of stuff to catch you up on my life.
Come to San Diego and visit soon!!!

Vacation is truly over

I saw Midnight in Paris and absolutely loved it!!! It made me want to go back and realize that I did like Paris.
So the week I returned I was contacted by the San Diego temple. I had an interview and I am now working there.
Last Thursday was my first day and I can not begin to tell you how amazing it was. I want to thank my friends who have been a positive influence on me and have been a shining example to me. I may not always do, say or chose the best things but I recognize that and I try to be better. Sometimes I forget and have to try again so thanks to those who have the pure love of Christ and understand and have patience with me.