My weekend

My weekend was near perfect, I had one moment when one of life's events just made me feel like life was too overwhelming and I really let it affect the way I felt and acted. So I have decided to focus on the most important positive things I experienced this weekend.

Friday - I saw two of my previous Sunday school students at their wedding reception. Chelsea Garcia was in one of my last classes. She is such a sweet girl and I always remember how much she enjoyed singing and just a joy to have in class. Her groom was Kyle Higgins. Kyle was that kid you had to rope back into the lesson and make sure you kept him engaged so he wouldn't become bored and start distracting himself and others. They were both great kids to teach and actually they probably taught me more than I could have taught them.

Saturday - I spent time with my previous roommates at the Manor and it was nice and relaxing. I also was fortunate to go to the Women's broadcast. I have to be honest I was not too alert during the talks but I perked up with the following: 

Sister Julie Beck - "Through the blessings of the temple they will be armed with power and blessed to receive the “key of the knowledge of God.”  Through the ordinances of the priesthood found only in temples, they will be blessed to fulfill their divine, eternal responsibilities, and they will promise to live as committed disciples."

Sister Barbara Thompson- "Our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, told us in our last general conference, “As you and I go to the holy houses of God, as we remember the covenants we make within, we will be more able to bear every trial and to overcome each temptation. In this sacred sanctuary we will find peace; we will be renewed and fortified.”

I am really striving to go to the temple often not only on Thursday nights when I work but an additional day a week. I have found it helps me be calmer and at peace with my current trial of dealing with my medical issue; and the truth of that was shown to me this weekend.


Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf- "Sisters, wherever you are, whatever the circumstances may be, you are not forgotten. No matter how dark your days may seem, no matter how insignificant you may feel, no matter how overshadowed you think you may be, your Heavenly Father has not forgotten you. In fact, He loves you, with an infinite love." His talk was truly amazing.

When he said this part I couldn't help tear up. Again, as I face my current trial I let that feeling of being alone creep in but then one of my friends will text or call and I know I am not alone.

Sunday - I saw Elder Spencer Wilheim give his homecoming talk. I was touched by his words and to see that he has grown into a fine young man. I remember the one day in class he asked me a question and the only answer I had was: "Spencer, just keep doing what you are doing now and everything will work out Heavenly Father knows what is in your heart and everything will be fine". Again another reminder that I need to take my own advice. I look forward to attending his reception one day.

I also was able to hear my first home teachers junior companion, Brent Williams, give a talk. He is now a High Council member. Here was this man, a father of two children giving a talk and all I could think of was "WOW, he used to sit in my living room and be a skater type boy kind of shy but sharing a sweet message".

Like I mentioned earlier, my weekend had a big bump in the road but I have decided that I really need to stay positive and while it helps to sometimes vent on the blog I am thinking I need to just be positive and happy on here.
I hope you have a great week!! I know I am going to try to do so.

Happy Wednesday!!

Today we had our internal ISO14001 audit. It was ok considering we have fallen behind and now have a lot of work ahead of us for the first phase audit in three weeks.
I went to an alternative medicine doctor last Thursday that many of my friends have seen this lady and all think she is great. I thought it was interesting and purchased my supplements afterwards. I am now a pill overload taking human being. I also found out I am allergic to dairy, eggs, gluten, brown rice foods. Along with gluten food. So since last Friday I have only eaten fruits, veggies and meat. I thought I would miss Diet Coke the most and I have to admit so far I am doing ok. I did keep looking at a can during a meeting thinking you look so good but you are so bad for me.
Today we had Panera for lunch and I was ok. However, for some reason I could smell bread all afternoon and wanted some. I am happy to report that no bread was eaten.
I also learned about tapping. It is a little out there but I like it.
Someone told me - if you do all these things and they make you feel better than do them. You know I don't know how much better I am doing - but I do feel better maybe it is mental.
Why?
People ask me everyday if 1. Are you ok? 2. You look really tired today? 3. How are you feeling? It makes me wonder do I look that bad and I just don't notice it? Are they concerned or just trying to make me feel worse? So I just smile and say of course I feel ok I am here today. I also say, no I didn't feel tired but now that you mentioned it I do. I know people have good intentions but everyday those words make me wonder am I just fooling myself that I feel better?
So I am now off to get my hair done - maybe I wont look tired tomorrow if I do.

Sorry for the crazy week

So I read my last post and I was so up and positive...must have been high on life. Last week was just one challenge after another.
I think when it finally hit me that I had a medical procedure in my future all fear hit me. I have never spent the night at the hospital as a patient. Yes, I stayed nights at the hospital with my mom and then when my dad but that is different. Why? Well I was there to be with them and keep them company; which is what hit me in an odd way. I have no mom to stay up with me when this happens. It is strange how after so many years something like this can just get you emotionally and make you miss someone so much. The relationship I had with my mother was not a typical mother daughter type. She was ill most of my pre teen to the time she passed in 92 or 93. Still when she knew I needed that gentle touch or caressing of the hair she did it and I am grateful for those tender moments.
So I felt sorry for myself and wondered what am I going to do.
I think not going to the temple this week also really had an impact so I am hoping to attend a session tomorrow.
I have also made a decision that I will not work long crazy hours. I need to balance my life. I say this as I got to work at 6:30 am and I am still here. But baby steps will get me there.

So for those of you that I totally flaked on by not responding to e-mails, calls, texts or just flaking on plans, I am sorry and I ask for your forgiveness. I know you understand that sometimes life happens and emotions put you in a dark place or a place where you see the light but you think you don't want to be a part of it. For those of you that I freaked out on and maybe said or did stupid things well...that's just me and thanks for being there.  

A recap of the past few days

OK so I am walking to work from where I park across at another business in a hidden parking lot we rent. As I am walking in the other companies driveway I look no cars coming and I enter the driveway and I hear a car coming and I turn to my right I see a big white F150 coming straight at me. I keep walking because I see him and of course he sees me right? Then I stop in my walk as I realize he is not slowing down and if I keep walking I am going to become a hood ornament. So he stops and smiles, says sorry and motions me to go ahead I smile and say "No thank you, you seem to be late and I don't want you to be any later" He motions me to go and I say "Please go, I really am not comfortable going in front of your truck. He pulls up and apologizes again and I say "Thank you, but please be careful next time...have a good day". Fortunately for me one or two of our employees saw the events and were concerned for my safety. Sweet huh?

I had my ultrasound last week. I am very naive about how medical procedures work.So I will just say it was interesting. I received a call this afternoon with the results and I now need to see a gynecologist. Medical procedure is in my future.

Spencer is leaving La Jolla for the windy city and I am sad. While we lived close to each other we didn't spend a lot of time together but it gave me a sense of security to know I had a family member near by. First time in a LONGGG time that I have lived close to a family member that I trust with my life and love more than life. Seriously I would lay down my life for Spencer, Laura or Natalie - these are the kids that are the closest to me having children so there is nothing I wouldn't do for them. 

Last week during the SD blackout he was in Chicago with his mom. I was saddened by this but it also gave me an opportunity to realize he would soon be gone. Good luck my retirement plan nephew has a bright future.

So back to the blackout that was an exciting night. I was scheduled to work at the San Diego temple but at 3:35 or so the power went out. We had issues with our compressors so I thought great now it took our lights out..we soon found out it was all over San Diego. I drove home and realized I was all alone in this big city. Well not really but it helped me see that I was semi prepared, I have good neighbors and never ever give up your extra fully charged cell phone. My work phone is T Mobile and they lost service. My personal phone Verizon was fully charged but in Carlsbad with my French co worker.

I went to an Angels game on Friday and the 9th inning was so exciting I bruised my hands clapping. Yes, clapping. I guess for all the games I missed this season I made up for all that clapping and bruised my hands.
By the way I shared a link to a talk on FB of an article I came across by accident on Sunday. Seriously I did not go looking for this article it just popped up in a search I did. I guess when you set a goal to develop faith in an aspect you need to prepare to have things happen and read them. I don't want people to think I am one of those desperate girls who all of a sudden is wanting to get married. I am not. I just know that since I was maybe 6 or 7 I always said I never wanted to get married or have kids. I can only relate it to my parents divorce. The feeling became stronger and solid as I saw my mom's 2nd marriage as it really was and my dad (step) was no longer my heroe and I just resented him for who he was. I am not a man hater or bitter...I just had a hard time believing I could ever be married but have seen so many good examples of good marriages in my life. I just have never believed I was capable or deserved to have one? I don't know. OK enough disclosure.

The past week has been comical and interesting but one thing I have learned NEVER GIVE UP!!! I have an amazing family and friends.