Sorry for the crazy week

So I read my last post and I was so up and positive...must have been high on life. Last week was just one challenge after another.
I think when it finally hit me that I had a medical procedure in my future all fear hit me. I have never spent the night at the hospital as a patient. Yes, I stayed nights at the hospital with my mom and then when my dad but that is different. Why? Well I was there to be with them and keep them company; which is what hit me in an odd way. I have no mom to stay up with me when this happens. It is strange how after so many years something like this can just get you emotionally and make you miss someone so much. The relationship I had with my mother was not a typical mother daughter type. She was ill most of my pre teen to the time she passed in 92 or 93. Still when she knew I needed that gentle touch or caressing of the hair she did it and I am grateful for those tender moments.
So I felt sorry for myself and wondered what am I going to do.
I think not going to the temple this week also really had an impact so I am hoping to attend a session tomorrow.
I have also made a decision that I will not work long crazy hours. I need to balance my life. I say this as I got to work at 6:30 am and I am still here. But baby steps will get me there.

So for those of you that I totally flaked on by not responding to e-mails, calls, texts or just flaking on plans, I am sorry and I ask for your forgiveness. I know you understand that sometimes life happens and emotions put you in a dark place or a place where you see the light but you think you don't want to be a part of it. For those of you that I freaked out on and maybe said or did stupid things well...that's just me and thanks for being there.