What the Hell is going on?

So this weekend a friend said the phrase for 2012 is What the Hell is Going On.

I have a full blown cold and I am not happy so I couldn't agree more. 

Why do I get sick on a short work week when I have plans to travel to AZ?

I am enduring at work today but only until my conference call at 4 pm is done. I came in for a few hours yesterday afternoon to help a previous team member and then headed home. I was in bed by 8 but could not fall asleep as I had slept until noon. I overslept today and wanted to call in sick but I am too responsible for that. I felt guilty at the thought of not coming to work today. While there was no rain this morning; there was traffic and I was very grateful for my FastTrack.

So here I am wishing I was home in bed now having a stomach ache and feeling not too great. Still no rain as forecasted and wearing a sweater that at times I am grateful for and other times I feel incredibly warm. Yes I think that means I am sick. 

Will I cancel my trip to AZ in the words of todays post HELL NO! I know the phrase is what the Hell is Going on!?!?!? But I think Hell No fits quite nicely.

I think you get the point that I am not a happy camper today.

Music

Isn't it interesting how we can hear music and it can bring out so many different emotions and memories when we hear a certain song. It takes you back to that one moment you relate to that song. The first kiss, that long drive, a concert, sitting in your room doing homework, a school or church dance, that moment when you need that was a once in a lifetime moment you would never forget and would always remember when you heard that song.

Last Friday I heard Paula Abdul's Opposites Attract. This morning I drove into work listening to Wham's I'm your Man!

So today I was at Chipotle picking up my lunch and all of a sudden I heard an old familiar song by Altered Images...Happy Birthday and I immediately thought of high school and my friends Kim, Bob, Cathy and punker square. I hadn't heard this song in a while and it was pretty loud so I appreciated that.

Music makes me happy. I love all kinds. They remind me of good friends, good times, and if I am listening to hymns or church music I reflect on my life.

I just had to share that I love the memories music brings us!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40K2S0-5Xo0

It's Friday

and blogger has a new look and it has been one long week!!

Monday - Dinner with one of the ladies I visit teach that is moving to Gilbert, AZ. Will miss her and she taught me about a new place I can take people to El Indio yummm

Tuesday - Ward temple night first time I was able to do this in the year I have been living in San Diego. Can you believe it? I have been here for a year and I finally feel like it is home!!!

Wednesday - Dinner with some friends for my birthday and I feel so lucky to know these people

Thursday - Worked at the temple but let me tell you waking up at 4:05 because I was afraid I would oversleep made for one long day after a late night.

Friday - Another long day but hopefully my new sewing machine will be here this weekend!!! The best part is that when I drove to work I heard " I think We Are Alone Now" by Tiffany and I was like yay going 90mph ouch. I slowed down and then there was the Cranberries which reminded me of a good friend.
Tonight a dance yikes I hope I make it.

Tomorrow - Volunteering in Chula Vista woohooo!! Than seeing my friends from OC in SD and having them visit till Sunday.

I have a busy life and I love it!!!

Another College Graduation!!!

So the picture below is of my beautiful older niece at  her high school graduation in 2008. I can hardly believe it has been that long. I will be replacing it with a more recent picture next month...which reminds me my camera is not shooting as clear and crisp and I purchased that camera for her high school graduation. Next month I will be heading off to Boston to see her graduate from BU.

One word to describe my niece is Dynamic! She is always on the go with her friends, wanting to dance, learn, and explore all this world has to show us.

It has been so much fun to watch her become an adult. I can't wait to see you graduate!!! You are an amazing woman!!

Recognizing How Blessed I Am!!!

I woke up today and for some reason I am incredibly happy and glad to be living in San Diego. I love my life.

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I am a mid single and I am happy. Sure, I would like to be married (trying to do positive affirmations but yes, I think would like that companionship) but you know it is not the end of the world that I am single. It has provided me with a lot of opportunities to do great things and meet great individuals.

I have to admit this weekend I was feeling the blues and blah about life. The social 6'6 smoker I think played a big part in that. Why did I go out with him? I didn't know he smoked and he seemed nice, and as mentioned previously sometimes it is good to spend time with the opposite gender and explore possibilities. I also while I have met some great people was just missing my longtime friends. Not just the singles but the families. 

I lived in the Cypress area for most of my life and moving to San Diego was a lot harder than I ever imagined. I am adjusting and I call San Diego home and I am no longer tempted to just hop in my car and do the drive up to the OC. However, as I saw posts on FB about Young Women Activities or different events going on I was craving seeing members and friends from my old stake. I miss running errands around the neighborhood and seeing people you know and visiting them and saying hello.  

While I am now a little fish in this big stake I am beginning to recognize people when I work at the temple. I see them and I am so happy to see their familiar face. Last night was the first ward temple night I was able to participate in since moving to San Diego and I loved it!! I am blessed to know some incredible men and women in my ward and even more priviliged to call them my friends.

I am not sure what this outpouring of blessings is indicating but I do know that in my life I have been blessed beyond what I deserve and maybe as I am getting older I am learning to recognize the blessing more and appreciate them as well as show gratitude for them.

So to all my family and friends thank you so much for being one of the blessings. I don't think I let my family or friends know very often how much they mean to me but it is something I am striving to improve.

I am posting a picture that makes me happy when I see it. These are three of my biggest blessings in my life!!! I love them so much!!!

MBA for about 10K?

I have been working for my current employer for over 5 years. They have a great education assistance program. Had I started my MBA 4 years ago, I would have an MBA mostly paid by my employer and I would not owe them much if I chose to leave.

I have an opportunity to start the MBA program at UC Redlands this month or next and see it as an opportunity to do it and also making a committment to stay with my current employer for another 3 years at least. That is not a bad thing but it is a committment.

I started filling out the application online but I stopped where I had to write an essay about my work experience, education and goals. I know about my work experience and education but my professional goals? Ultimately I want an MBA so I can teach at a college and do that in the evenings or just do that in my retirement. Crazy huh?

The program costs $38,000 and my company will pay for a good chunk of it but I have to put the money in first and then be a diligent student get an A so I get 100% reimbursement. My MBA could potentially only cost me $ 10,000. However, I am still paying my student loans for my BA and it seems silly to incur more debt for my education or does it?

I don't expect a big pay increase with an MBA it is more of a personal goal. So give me your insights help me think of some new goals that maybe I just have not thought of on my own.

My new range is 5'9 to 6'

So anyone who knows me I have a thing about tall guys. I always say a guy needs to be at least 6 feet tall. I know, I know I am only 5'3 and that is a lot of inches to waste but hey with heels I am 5'8.

Anyhow the real point is I went out twice with this guy and he was 6'6. Really nice guy but honestly the height thing bothered me and I finally realized that the slight scent of smoke was him.

He is a social smoker and I wasn't sure if I was off but my nose was right on.

So what did I learn from this experience?

First, I should go with my nose instinct.

Second, well let's just say I had something reemphasized. Dating can't be that bad but it has to be with the right person. Or at least you have to be open to letting someone be the right person and not hang on to another person. What do I mean? I thought I was open to trying this out but when I was there I realized I really wanted to be with someone else.

Third, the guy can not be over a foot taller than me. It is just ackward looking up feeling like a little kid.

Will I see this guy again? Probably not. I think my look of disgust when he confirmed he was a smoker said it all.

Do I know who this other person I really want to be with is? I will not disclose that on here as I am not sure about this myself.

Why? There are more people than I realize that read my blog and then make comments to me about in conversation and I am caught off guard.

One thing I did learn this past week. I am a sucker for a goatee and cowboy hat. OK that's only because of Tim McGraw. However, I really do have a thing for a goatee.

What has been happening this week?

Monday - nothing significant that I can recall. We did do Peeps Sparring for FHE...it was quite fun. I also purchased my registration for the OCBC weekend. This is a first time way early before the complete schedule is even up on the site type of registration.

Tuesday - I got some free tickets to the Diamondback vs. Padres game. Great seats and I taught our French intern all I knew about baseball. I think he had fun. I like baseball but it was a lot different than being at an Angel game. I miss my Angels. There was a cute man wearing yamika at the game but he didn't seem interested in the game or maybe he felt he should be home. Anyhow I was going to say Happy Passover but I didn't when he left I wasn't paying attention.

I haven't really thought of much or pondered anything. Last night a friend wrote to me and said that it sounded like my life is going pretty good. She is right, I am fortunate to have awesome family, friends and great opportunities like last night. So wether you are a long time friend or a new friend - thank you for being my friend and giving me such great memories.

Today

So I clearly already forgot.

I realize that more people than I think read my crazy posts and thoughts. As I was at my brother's house and my sister in law finished a conversation with a good family friend. She looked at me and said so I hear you are open to dating someone.

I was like what? huh? Who? Wait what did I post and where...oh no what did I write on my FB post and then I remembered my 200 dates post. I had to laugh. My brother of course responded "that's why I don't do the Internet"

On another note the Detective from the Department of Justice called me today. Apparently the jury from the trial last month could not decide/agree if the individual was guilty. So guess what ? I get to do it all over again on the 25th. I don't know if I posted but I thought I sucked as a witness specifically when the Defense tried to make me sound like I was stupid. Apparently I did not do a bad enough job to not get called back. He said I did fine and not to worry - he has done many court appearances and is nervous each time. Mind you when he called I did have this ridiculously crazy thought enter my mind "Heck the guy got off free and they know he is coming after me so they are on their way to put me on witness protection program"

Which would be horrible. I mean come on ONE - I just had an amazing weekend with my family and TWO I have Kenny Loggins to see at the end of the month!!

I just have an overactive imagination:
I'm alright

Nobody worry 'bout me
Why you got to gimme a fight?
Can't you just let it be?

Weekend Summary

OK so I was on a roll and then it came to a complete stop.


Thursday night - I worked my first shift back after surgery at the SD Temple. It was so amazingly AWESOME! I can not tell you how great it was to see the ladies I work with and to just be there. I really missed working there the last few months. That night I talked to my friend Perri and had so much talking to her about this concert at the end of the month in AZ, and Bear Lake. So now I have travel fever!!!

Friday - I slept in until 7:40 am and got ready to hit the road. But not before I had breakfast at the Fig Tree in Pacific Beach. As I drove there thru Mission Bay I realized San Diego is home and it is so beautiful. I am truly lucky to live here. I finally hit the road and arrived in Palm Desert. We had Seder that night and it was good. Natalie and I stayed up until 1:30 watching War Horse.

Saturday - I drove to Forest Lawn in Cypress for my Aunt Helen's funeral. She was my dad's youngest sister. Her son Chris did an amazing job of putting the funeral together. How do the youngest kids get handed this task? Then we had a late lunch at my favorite restaurant La Capilla before hitting the road and going back to Palm Desert. We arrived around 5 and got ready for Seder. My friend Amy joined us and my family loved her....I was glad she did not get a ticket after getting pulled over.

Sunday - spent time with the family. Elaine and I worked on Geneaology. That was fun!!! I then drove home. It is always nice to know I am going home to sleep in my own bed but it is also bittersweet as I am leaving my family.

I am so lucky to have my family and to have a strong relationship with them. I wish I could have that with all of my extended family.

Oh and by the way,,,I was put to the test with repairing that rift between my older brother and I. I think this was one of the times that I didn't mind being around him...Although I think it is hilarious how great his girlfriend thinks he is.

Dieter F Uchtdorf, Second Counselor in the First Presidency - The Merciful Obtain Mercy

OK I was laying in bed listening to this session. When Elder Uchtdorf opened with the story about the letter from a mother that would specifically benefit her two children I was interested. Then when he mentioned how a rift had grown between them, and they had stopped speaking to each other; I really began to listen the as I have an older brother. When I was younger I wanted to grow up and be just like him. However, we have different beliefs, lifestyles and while we are both good people we have different follow through with our family and friends. He is more of a carefree, sometimes empty promises, free-spirit and me, well I am me more conservative. ( I had to come up and say yes, I know I need to STOP IT) 

A few years ago at a family Thanksgiving weekend an incident occurred that really upset me for many reasons. He chose to do something that was dissappointing, lacked better judgment and was embarrasing and insulted people's intelligence or at least mine.

I guess you could say this was the last straw with me. I had talked to him previous to this and he just didn't seem to get it and he did let me know I hurt his feelings and his defense and words to me were that I was an old maid.  

So hearing this talk made me realize I need to repair that rift between us. We are getting older. I need to have patience with him and forgive him.

I know I can move past the judging others who sin differently than me. The harder challenge will be to love them. The following points Elder Uchtdorf counseled us with are going to be challenging. I don't say hate so I am 1/110th of the way there right?

Jesus said it is easy to love those who love us; even the wicked can do that. But Jesus Christ taught a higher law. His words echo through the centuries and are meant for us today. They are meant for all who desire to be His disciples. They are meant for you and me: “Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”

The pure love of Christ can remove the scales of resentment and wrath from our eyes, allowing us to see others the way our Heavenly Father sees us: as flawed and imperfect mortals who have potential and worth far beyond our capacity to imagine. Because God loves us so much, we too must love and forgive each other.

At the end he provided us with a self test:

Do you harbor a grudge against someone else? I don't think so - so maybe that means yes?

Do you gossip, even when what you say may be true? Guilty
Do you exclude, push away, or punish others because of something they have done? Guilty - I have done that to my brother.
Do you secretly envy another? I don't, I learned at an early age what it felt like to be envied and I try to not do that.
Do you wish to cause harm to someone? I definitely don't.


If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to apply the two-word sermon from earlier: stop it!

Elder Robert D. Hales: Coming to Ourselves: The Sacrament, the Temple, and Sacrifice in Service

So the Saturday afternoon session is the one I listened as I drove around doing errands. Stopping and running into a store during a hymn. However, I really liked this talk. The following things are comments that I am reflecting on and I am sharing my thoughts of them at this time.

Church members should remember that they are renewing the covenant they made at baptism. “For the sacrament to be a spiritually cleansing experience each week, we need to prepare ourselves before coming to sacrament meeting,” he said. “We do this by deliberately leaving behind our daily work and recreation, and letting go of worldly thoughts and concerns. As we do we make room in our minds and hearts for the Holy Ghost.

• I try I really do try to leave my worldly thoughts and concerns behind when I go to church and partake of the sacrament. I also try to do this when I work at the temple on Thursday nights; and it is so much easier there than on Sundays. With church for some reason no matter how early I get up and plan I manage to get distracted and I am running late for church. However, with my new calling of doing the program I think that will help.

Worthiness to hold a temple recommend gives Church members the strength to keep their temple covenants, he explained. “How do we personally gain that strength? We strive to obtain a testimony of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost, the reality of the Atonement, and the truthfulness of the Prophet Joseph Smith and the Restoration. We sustain our leaders, treat our families with kindness, stand as a witness of the Lord’s true Church, attend our Church meetings, honor our covenants, fulfill parental obligations, and live a virtuous life. You may say, that sounds like just being a faithful Latter-day Saint. You are right. The standard for temple recommend holders is not too high for us to achieve.”

• Wow do I need to work on this one A LOT. I have no problem with parental obligations but living a virtuous life? I am probably being hard on myself but I think that I struggle with this one. Why? It is probably more of an insecurity of where I am in life or better said who I am. OK this sounds bad so let me tear down a wall or chip away at it. I lack self confidence. When someone gives me constructive criticism I take it to heart and I try to improve on it. However, there are many areas in my life where I lack self confidence so if something is said and it falls in one of those categories I lack self confidence; it makes me oh so more insecure. In the past year I had a friend tell me I had virtue and I was taken back by the comment. I never imagined that this person thought that way from me. It stood out more to me because this is someone that I think highly of so while I took it and accepted it as a compliment I had a hard time believing that this individual saw me as having virtue.

So maybe my summaries of conference and my thoughts are a little out there but you know they are mine and after all look at the name of my blog.

Elder Donald L. Hallstrom: Converted to His Gospel through His Church

This is the talk that really got me on Saturday morning. I was driving to work as it was month end and I needed to be there to ensure some data was accurate in our time keeping system and had to wait for the individuals working OT that day.


I liked the following points they struck me in areas that I need to improve in and have made my comments in black bold font.

1. Deepen our understanding of Deity.


“A sustained knowledge of and love for the three members of the Godhead are indispensable,” he said. “Mindfully pray to the Father, in the name of the Son, and seek direction from the Holy Ghost. Coupled with constant study and humble pondering, continually build unshakable faith in Jesus Christ.”

I need to really study and ponder my scriptures. I am very relaxed in this sometimes and yet when I committ to doing better, I think why do I stop doing this. I love it. I find myself reading and studying and truly enjoying it. I am now recommitting myself to doing better in my scripture study.

2. Focus on the ordinances and covenants.


“If there are any of the essential ordinances yet to be performed in your life, intently prepare to receive each of them,” he said. “Then, we need to establish the discipline to live faithful to our covenants, fully using the weekly gift of the sacrament. Many of us are not being regularly changed by its cleansing power because of our lack of reverence for this holy ordinance.”

I have to be honest my mind drifted to marriage. Not just for me but mainly for my single male friends. I have a few single men that I am friends with and I worry that they are amazing individuals but have not taken the plunge into this ordinance and covenant. I am not sure how I can improve into this but I am going to start my Thursday night shift at the San Diego Temple. I took a leave of absence due to my surgery and have missed it so much.


3. Unite the gospel with the Church.


“Concentrating on the gospel, the Church will become more, not less, of a blessing in our lives. As we come to each meeting prepared to ‘seek learning, even by study and also by faith,’ the Holy Spirit will be our teacher. If we come to be entertained, we often will be disappointed. ...”

I love the Gospel and the blessings his Church has brought into my life. I am going to be better prepared for Sunday school and RS lessons as well as participate more.

Elder Hallstrom said: “The Lord wants the members of His Church to be fully converted to His gospel”  “This is the only sure way to have spiritual safety now and happiness forever.”

I know that is so true and for myself while I don't fully drift away I do get distracted and wonder around exploring. I am so grateful for conference and how we are gently guided back onto the right path.

General Conference Weekend

So General Conference was amazing as always. There were some messages that really inspired. me to improve and work on certain things. The last hymn of the morning session today is one of my favorites "Come Thou Font of Every Blessing". I hope in the next hymn edition they bring it back.

As I heard it, I actually found myself wishing I was at Conference. I have been fortunate to attend once when they still had it at the tabernacle and recently at the Conference Center.

I will update more about the talks once they are available online and I can re read them. I know there was a talk in the morning session on Saturday that I really really enjoyed. It had three points to follow.

Last night I saw Salmon Fishing in Yemen - it is an excellent movie and I hope I have the movie title correct. Afterwards we went to eat a delicious dinner at the Fig Tree in Hillcrest.
I am so adjusted to living in San Diego...finally!!!

Tonight I ended my weekend with a walk along Mission Bay at sunset. It was fun.

I am truly fortunate to have the life that I have, the family and friends (long time and soon to be long time friends).