Weekend Thoughts

So this weekend the topic of conversation kept coming up about blogging. Apparently I am not the only person who thinks this will be a great thing to blog about and then when I am actually blogging I don't think of those great ideas.

Friday night was so entertaining with great basketball games and just laughing with MC. She didn't trash talk too much but she pointed out a new credit union - you know the one we all learned about - FGCU. I love this girl she is just so cool and fun to know.

I was able to spend time with my friend MS who does my hair and had so much fun. She is one of those people that you are just happy being with her and can say anything or nothing and it is all good. We finally made it to the Sizzler in Vista. Now this Sizzler is like no other Sizzler that I have been to. Not that I have been to many but it is nice.

Saturday I went to a fundraiser for a high school for their prom. I was so happy to go but when I heard about some of the issues the administration is creating (primarily the principal) it just broke my heart. I had a wonderful high school experience and amazing senior year and I think all kids should have that given to them by their administration. Unfortunately that is not the case for this school and that just breaks my heart.

Sunday was amazing - the talks and lessons at church were uplifting and motivating and reminded me of all I have to be grateful for in this life.

Easter dinner was at SH's home and the dinner was yummy. Anytime you have asparagus and carrot cake how can you go wrong.

Conversations also revolved around AZ and OC and I kept thinking I kept my promise I didn't move out of the area and I am around for NE's graduation. She is off to college in the fall...should I be off to a new adventure?

I am still feeling as though I am being tested to just give in and I don't know why. Well, I do some people don't want us to succeed in this life. However, I feel as though it has something to do with getting older and negative thoughts entering about how unaccomplished I am and now with this surgery I think how did I get here? I am trying I really am trying to stay up and positive but sometimes it is so hard.

As usual my my weekend was great....which is how I managed to get by today. Today was an absolute trying Monday. I tweaked my back sometime this morning or while I slept and I am in extreme pain something I have not experienced. It hurts to sit and walk and I am sure it will hurt to lie down.

Also Dr. Day's office called apparently they are worried about my BP being a little bit high when I had my consultation. I now need to monitor my BP morning and night for a week and report.

Nothing like a sharp pain in your chest to wake you while you are sleeping

Last night I went to bed relatively early for me 9 pm and woke up around 10:30 pm with a sharp pain in my chest and not able to breath.
I got up and that helped my breathing so I thought is this heartburn, indigestion or a heart attack. The pain was intense and I tried laying back down and that made it worse.
So I got dressed and looked around my place and sat in my living room as the pain subsided and my breathing was not as strenous. I thought about calling 911 but didn't think I needed to as I was still quite coherent didn't have any other pain and figured I would go to bed.
However, as I walked to my room I thought ...better call 911 or go to urgent care just in case because the pain is still there.
So off I went to Scripss Urgent Care in La Jolla. Yes, I know not the smartest thing to do but I felt fine aside from the pain.
I parked close to the entrance and explained my symptoms. They took some info, my copay and took me to a room and did an EKG. The first one was too shaky. The second one appeared fine but they ran some blood work and did a chest x-ray.
The doctor finally came back in around 1 am and said everything looked normal but I had two options I could stay for another couple of hours for observation he would draw more blood to see if maybe I did have some heart issue or I could go home. However, I would have to make a follow up appointment with my PCP as he could see that there was a couple of stones in my gall bladder. Which he thought is what caused the pain in my chest. He also suggested I do a stress test for my heart. I told him I would do both those things as I felt silly for being there and the pain had subsided.
I have an appointment on Monday and I will be honest not too happy of the possibility of stones or that I got scared awake.

Birthday Blues when I started not so blue now that I ended typing

It's official I have the birthday blues. I was super excited a month of so ago but now on the first day of Spring I am nowhere near as excited.

I keep thinking what do you have to show for your time on Earth? So my answers are simple:

I am single - I am ok with that but you know it kind of makes me think about something my SIL E has said to me in the past about having companionship and someone to grow old with which ironically makes me think of Texas, Big Foot, Val Kilmer. Only a few will get the names and individuals. Now that makes me laugh.

I have a job - overall I love my job, my boss is great but times are hard and the workhours are long. Some individuals don't pull their weight and sometimes I think I do the same. So my new outlook is keep my chin up and smile and keep working hard.

I belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints - my membership is probably one of my most treasured possessions but it's not even a possesion. I have been so blessed by being a member; I have a testimony that helps me keep focused on what matters most about life.

I have great friends - I have been blessed with great friends in SD and OC and in other states. I just have been missing the old days when things were so much easier and I had no responsibilities.

I have a great family - I was adopted by the Lopez and Michaud family and I love them. I am not near them but I have wonderful memories of my family. I was also adopted by the Eldred family and have an amazing brother KE and SIL EE who had three amazing children. These children who are now adults have brought so much joy to my life. I love SE, LE, and NE to the moon and back (actually infinity and beyond). Typing this really made me smile.

I am so recalling some of my favorite birthday celebration memories:

Skateway, Pizza Party and Slumber party - yes my birthdays growing up were huge. My parents allowed me to take most of the girls in my class to skateway then have dinner at a pizza place and a couple were allowed to spend the night over. I did this most of my elementary time and junior high years. Gosh so many stories for these years.

Getting kidnapped by Debi, Denise and Cathy - they kidnapped and blindfolded me. I don't quite recall what we did but I dare say maybe skateway. Anyhow I just remember having so much fun with them that night. I do know we were in high school.

Ice Dogs Birthday Party - I had a huge party when I worked at Dominguez Water Company. A few of the managers and VP's coordinated this and we had a huge group attend an Ice Dogs game and we had a tailgate before. My brothers and nephew were able to attend. This was one of the greatest parties ever given to me by my bosses!!

Don Jose - the only restaurant in La Palma, CA that still gives you a free dinner on your birthday. The last few years I lived in OC a group of my friends and I would go there and celebrate followed by cake at my place or someone else.

Spring Training in AZ - this has been the last few years. I treated myself to a long weekend in AZ to watch the Angels and visit my AZ friends. Last year was fun and PL made me the most beautiful cake. This one made me sad to know I missed that this year but also happy that I can plan for 2014.

The last milestone birthday I celebrated in Torrance - one of my co workers and I share the same day. However, I was having a milestone birthday. My office was beautifully decorated. A nice man sent flowers and ensured that my co-workers knew they needed to make a huge event; which they told him they were planning on doing so. A beautiful birthday cake was ordered.

In my life, I have had many amazing individuals come in and out of my life as friends and co workers who became friends. Some I have lost track off but I think that is what I enjoy about birthdays. The ability to look back and remember them and the great fun we had enjoying life and celebrating weddings, births of children, graduations, promotions and well we are all getting old together.

So, yes I may be getting old but as I typed this it put me in a better place and brought a smile to my face. So thank you for reading this.

Life is good!!!

I had yet another great weekend and yes, I still have a cold.

I cleaned my kitchen cabinets saturday morning. Went to a play to see MR's nephew. The plays are something I really enjoy. I am grateful that MR invites me to enjoy these great  plays. We had dinner at Filipis in Escondido and it was yumminess.  MR, LB , KR, AW and I ate there. Then AH joined us at the play. These ladies are amazing! I am truly blessed to have such wonderful people in my life.

Today was our ward potluck and it was so much fun. I was super sleepy but Sister G made our meal so much fun. Lets just say JS dared AW to kiss someone for $20 and she did which only led to more kissing dares, it was hilarious but fun.

I also received a voice mail from PL who called to see what was up. I emailed her since I knew she was at church and keep thinking we are due for a call. She hadn't read my e-mail so it made me happy to know we were both thinking of each other.

NE is closer to graduating and I am excited to see where she decides to attend college.

Yes, life is good! !!!

Audits, Allergies, Colds and Ibuprofen PM

I have been a bit worried the past three weeks about our ISO14001 Surveillance audit. It seems as though I have one audit after another and one project after another.

On March 3 I left a dinner party relatively early because I felt cold and just not good. I couldn't figure out if I was just feeling blue or was I fighting something. Sure enough I was fighting a cold. I continue to fight such cold.

So last night as I left work I remembered when we had our audit 6 months ago I was 10 minutes late for the start time due to allergies and a sinus headache. So I vowed I would be on time if not early and thought I better take some Tylenol PM to fall asleep and wake up on time.

I arrived at CVS and there was no Tylenol PM so I bought Ibuprofen PM. I got home by 8 and took it and found myself in bed by 8:45 pm and not sure when I fell asleep but it was way before 10.

I had planned to wake up at 4:45 but opted to do 5:30. However, I have a great co-worker who called me at 5:15 to make sure I was awake, which I was.

Well my throat was hurting a little in the morning but I went through my audit with flying colors. We are the last site he audits.

Ironically this is the first afternoon I have felt like I have more energy than I have the past two weeks. Remember a week ago I called in sick as I wanted to just sleep as I had a slight fever and aches and could hardly talk.

I am beginning to wonder does my stress trigger me to wear my immune system down and get sick before an audit? I would say yes. So my lesson learned from this audit (as I start a coughing fit) relax your team knows the stuff you put up on boards and talk about at the KPI meetings.

I can't believe I did this moment

Let me tell you about my morning today.

I woke up around 5 am and thought wow I feel wide awake and it is 5 am I love DST. I also realized I had a runny nose from my cold and thought blow your nose and go back to sleep and rest.

So when my alarm went off at 6:30 and I just kind of lounged for a second I thought alright I feel good and I am going to be on time. When all of a sudden I heard someone on the radio say it was 7:20 I was like what? How could this happen?

Easily, although I somehow managed to move all my clocks forward an hour on Sunday morning. I didn't think about my alarm clock. Why? Well my alarm clock is my backup alarm. However, last night I was wide awake at 11:00 pm texting, commenting on FB statuses and checking email on my primary alarm my personal cell. So I decided it turn it off like your work cell and that is where things went wrong.

Yes, the girl at work that send the following e-mail out is the one who showed up 20 minutes late to work this morning.

Tuesday -

So here it is another day...Tuesday.

I was not a happy camper when I got home last night and there was a car parked in my spot.
Now if you have been to my place you know why. This would mean I would have to find a parking spot quite a distance away.

Luckily my one neighbor that I think has lost his mind - said I should have the car towed. I responded  " I really don't want to take such drastic measures I will go in for a little bit and come back". I had parked right behind my spot but still hung over onto my other two neighbors who I was 100% sure were in for the night.

He looked at me and said "It's good you are kind and thoughtful and don't want to create drama you can park in my spot my car is gone for the night. Then he continued to rattle off all the parking spot numbers that are not being used.

I was like great time to have a cold and not be able to retain this information. So off I went to my place put some items away and changed into my pajamas and wondered what numbers did he say I could park in? I wrote a note asking the individual to not park there again or i would have them towed the next time. ( I took a picture of the car license plate with the note so that I woudl have proof in the future). It seemed like a smart thing to do and I really felt that because of how I was being inconvenienced I would have them towed the next time this happens. 


So, as I walked back with note in hand back to my parking spot i thought well you are genious putting your pajamas on when you know you may have to park far away and walk a ways back to your place since you can't remember what spots are open or which one is that man's parking spot he offered you.   Luckily the man was out by the pool smoking and I asked him if I could park in his spot. He said yes and again rattled all these other spot numbers. I told him that I really appreciated his kindness. His response "no problem, you need to get some rest you work long hours and you sound sick so go park and go to bed". Now I appreciated his generosity but I was also a little bit creeped out that a neighbor that I have never interacted with and I think has lost his mind knows what kind of hours I keep at work and that he could tell I was sick.
So my question to you is - is it worth it to have it towed if they park there again?

Which poses a couple of questions:

If that car is parked there again should i have it towed? My initial response is deal with it document and eventually if it becomes a nuisance yes but really is it worth it even then?

The other question is should I be freaked out that someone in my neighborhood knows about my comings and goings ?

Monday Blues

I didn't work a whole lot as planned last week due to feeling under the weather and then I called in sick for Friday. I hoped to kick my cold in the butt and be at my desk on Saturday with peace and quiet around me so I could get everything done.


Unfortunately my cold had other plans for me and I laid at home all day Saturday and Sunday. Last night I had a rough time falling asleep and it happened sometime before 2 am even though I went to bed at 10.

I woke up at 7 and managed to get showered and dressed for work and arrived a little late but felt worn out from getting ready and driving to work.

My 10 am meeting was a no show as usual but it really got to me. Why? Well I have a lot of action items that deal with this individual and aside from saying a very unfriendly hello this individual is just sending me e-mails asking for information which angered me more. Yes angered. So as I sat and wrote down an e-mail asking for a status update on our open items I felt my eyes tearing up. I know, no crybabies allowed and it is a lame reaction but cut me some slack I am sick and I am tired and I have my French executives coming tomorrow and an audit to end the week.

I didn't want to sound mean or aggressive in the e-mail and a couple of people reviewed it and said I was too nice and it sounded as though the other person was not doing their job. My boss caught me in the hallway and asked me if I was ok and what did I need from him today to help me today. I just looked at him and it must have been with discouragement and he asked me if I was ok. I told him I was and that what I really needed was for this other individual to honor his meetings and deadlines and for him to support me after I sent his other direct report an e-mail.

My boss asked me to not send the e-mail and that we could all meet to talk about what we needed to get done. I looked at him and said ok I wont send the e-mail but seriously you don't have time to sit with us to see what we need to get done.

So the e-mail was not sent and the person just agreed to meet with me at 3 or 3:30 today - wish me luck. I keep saying to myself Don't cry shopgirl, except I say HR girl.

Some days set your world on fire

and some days they sink like stones. That's when your heart will cry out, until your body is numb.

Yes, that is how I am feeling lately. I feel like some days my world is on fire and nothing can go wrong even when I feel stones pulling me down. Yet I can't manage to let my heart cry out. I tried and even seeing The Impossible was not enough.

So today I went on a little break and drove to Elfin Forest while playing On the Road very loud and enjoyed the following lyrics:

So when the sun is coming up and you go..and there's still so many things you don't know
Don't you look back, got no doubt that I will see you on the road
and when the world's laying you low
why don't you let me carry your load
when things get bad
you know you'll have the friends all along the road

Which helped me think of the following things that are sinking me down and what I can do to feel better.

I am not going to Tempe to see the Angels play in spring training and that could be part of my blah feeling.  I usually do this trek for my birthday and see Perri but this year there are time constrains due to work obligations. -  I am breaking down and getting cable so I can watch some Angels games this season (and Deadliest Catch) - please tell me this will cure my blues over not seeing Angels game live.

I keep thinking a lot about my mom and missing her. I think the reason for that is because my cousin Vero and Elisa are posting about their dad's health situation. I see pictures of him and I imagine what my mom would look like at this time if she were alive and it saddens me a little to know I don't have a mom and that my cousins are now dealing with aging parents. I hope I can snap out of this soon or at least by May. To make me feel better I am thinking I am going to frame a couple of my mom's pictures and hang them up at my place.

I am missing my cousins in Mexico. It has been a few years since I saw some of them and we have gone through longer periods of time of not seeing each other. Yet I miss them and think of how when we were younger we lived so close together, visited often and then it stopped. We are all now adults spread throughout Mexico and CA and virtually strangers. However FB has kept us connected in a small way. Not sure if this will be possible but I am going to plan a trip to Mexico maybe for December or early 2014 and I would like to see my family in the Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico City, Queretaro and Leon and maybe Cabo.

Then there is the fact that my youngest niece is graduating in May. I love my nieces and nephew so much but with N graduating it signifies the end of an era. The era where the kids are kids and I am an adult. We are all now adults and I wonder wait how did I get so old and what do I do now? Sounds silly I know. I haven't come up with a game plan for this one; I think I am trying to figure out how to hold the tears back at NCL presentation, graduation and Bravo. Once I get through that I am sure things will be great. Which reminds me I need to find out how last week went for N and E at the 24 hours thing they were doing at PDHS.

I am in San Diego County

So I am living in a home without Internet access and this is a quick update for those faithful follower who may be wondering where I am what is going on and so on. I was living like a homeless person with my car full of clothes in two suitcases and boxes of food and miscellaneous items in my car. The place I thought I had found did not work out. I think there was signs along the way hinting that this was not the place I wanted to live. I think the big sign was me hitting the car in front of me on my way to putting my deposit. So this could be a story for another day and time. When I moved and left the manor on Wednesday, February 2 it was a sad day for me. I was able to say bye to "the babe twice" and Sharon as I was leaving....it made me realize I would really miss these ladies. I got teary eyed and drove over to the Farrers to just say bye and return their air mattress. Then to my favorite C2 home teacher Ken Mackay and his wife; and of course their neighbor my friend Sharlene Cook. I eventually drove down Valley View to the 405. I was sad but excited. I checked into my hotel room around 9pm and lived there until I checked out on Monday, February 7. I went to a ward in Oceanside that was in the boundaries of an apartment I thought I would live in but I wasn't crazy about the apartment or the ward. I was tired of eating out and being alone in a hotel room so I crashed at my nephews home for two nights. It was so nice to meet some of his friends one night and cook him pollo con mole the next. Unfortunately, he found out I am a bad wife/mother as I did not get home that night from work until 9pm and we ate dinner at 10. I am renting a room from a lady who is very nice and catholic. Jesus is everywhere in this home and the artists who portray him how they believe he looks is not in line with how I view him. So I am uncomfortable seeing this Jesus everywhere. I did venture back to the OC last weekend as I had a rough week and was homesick and was wondering why I ever agreed to this transfer. I had a great time learning to play Bunko and getting to know better Andi and Dan Wood they are hilarious! I had some maintenance done on my car and played hand on foot on Saturday night with the Boulton's. Sunday morning I had a new attitude and got up early to drive down to San Diego and attend the PB ward. It was a challenge as I showed up to the building they no longer meet in and then had to drive to the right building. I met a girl Jo in the parking lot that was also attending for the first time. I liked the ward a lot as the people were very welcoming and I even received a valentine's day rose from the Elders quorum. There is an application process to get into this ward and I see the reason for it but I think it could be worded friendlier. So I have to attend four consecutive weeks before I can have my records transferred; meet with the bishop and have him interview and then when I am deemed worthy I can have my records transferred. So I guess that means I am still a member of Cypress 2nd Ward. I went to FHE on Monday night and it was fun!!! I decided I need to focus my future living to Encinitas or south more to be close to the ward and activities. I miss my life in the OC and I know that once I settle in to a regular place in San Diego I will love my new life in SD. There are more short stories to tell so as soon as I can I will update.