Updated my music

Someone mentioned to me that my music went well with my blog. I was surprised as I have not been diligent of updating.
I thought it made sense to put more baseball themed songs on and then this morning I heard a song I had not heard in a while and I knew I had to update.
I have nothing to write except I am in a funky mood. Mixed emotions you know; like I am happy but I feel a little down. I think I am missing the warm AZ weather and the baseball fields.
If you have any music suggestions, please let me know.

200 Dates in One Year

Did my title totally get you?

I do crazy things but trust me this is nothing I plan on doing anytime soon. I don't think there are 200 single lds men in my 50 mile radius within the 38 - 48 age range I could date or would want to date. Wow that upper range is getting up there - am I sure about that range?

This morning as I was driving to work I saw a truck with the back window that said Visit 200dates. I tried to get a glimpse of the driver and I just saw his arm. So I of course took a break earlier today and went to the site. Funny posts. Check it out.

However, it is something I have been thinking about. Dating that is but not X amount of dates in one year. Just about where does one find someone to date. Internet, church, friends, shopping center, a make shift bar at a hotel lobby? Tried them all and have some memorable memories and some regrettable ackward moments.

I think this has been on my mind as I am getting older and I had a conversation with my sister in law within the last week. All of my single friends I am sure have had the conversation every now and then with a family member about who you are dating or the lack of dating. Lately my youngest niece has been inquiring too.

When I was younger I would get the "you need to date someone find a husband so you can have a family". I would smile and think, really? I had two hurdles I didn't believe in marriage (fear of committment and fidelity)  and I certainly couldn't believe I could find someone to marry. Now I am more open to the thought of marriage thanks to a friend challenging me to be open to it and a General Conference talk.

Now that I am older as I prepared for my surgery I thought huhm maybe a husband would be great to have at this time. I found myself wanting the encouragement, support and blessings from a husband (can't believe I typed that..tearing down walls). Don't get me wrong I have great supportive friends but I realized that I didn't have that one person I could just go home to and share my fears and feelings and get that comfort that sometimes our friends can't give us because we are unwilling to burden them with our feelings. 

So back to when my sister in law and I were talking. She mentioned that she just wanted me oh wait she said the kids worry about me and want me to have that special someone and she wont be good company in 20 years, it kind of got to me. Well for a couple of reasons.

• I don't want my family to worry about me over this. Yes, I am happy and yes I worry too but really do they need to worry - I love them so much and I don't like them to worry about me.
• I would like to find that special someone it is just difficult to find someone
• I don't want to go to their weddings as a single aunt or as my friend Perri would say an old spinster

So what do I do? Definitely not ready to take on the 200 dates in one year challenge. However, I do know there is one important thing I need to do.

• I can't be spending time with someone who is not in the same mindset or even a member of my church, if what I really want is a temple marriage with a worthy priesthood holder.
• Keep up with the posts on the 200dates website as it may give me courage.
• Stop listening to zappy country songs;
• Post on the 200dates website and offer to go on a date - oh wait that defeats my first bullet.
• Set up a goal of 9 dates in 2012

OK seriously just my thoughts about what has been on my mind and thought I would share - check out the website it seriously is funny.

How to be vulnerable and open

So I read a friends blog where she talked about vulnerability and openess and it has been on mind since I read it.

I rarely allow myself to feel vulnerable, let others see my inner heart or expose myself because I fear being hurt and rejected. While I like to stand up for what I believe in or the underdog when it comes to me and what I want I stay quiet and reserve all emotions and feelings. When I feel myself getting close to someone I put up the walls up so high I sometimes can't even tear them down myself. I know I trust the individual but I fear being hurt. Yes, there are a few individuals that I trust with my most inner fears, thoughts, dreams and hopes for the future but I don't really tell them how I feel about them. 

My friends post really made me think that the only way I can progress in life is if I learn to tear down my walls, not build them, and not be so guarded. Heaven knows I have some regrets of wishing I had been more honest and truthful with some people. I sometimes wonder what if I had or could have told them what I really thought or how I felt or just given them that simple hug.  

I tense up sometimes with some people who are natural huggers. I have no problem hugging my nieces and nephews it comes naturally; probably because I love them so much and I feel safe with them. I have been working on this; so if you know me and you are hesitant to hug me because you know I am not a natural hugger, go ahead I need to get over it and repetition will break down that wall.

Don't Judge A Book by It's Cover

Just a quick blurb about not judging a book by it's cover.

I am quick to say that I am guilty of judging something by it's cover. I know schocking huh?

This weekend when I went to Chino Badino I was not impressed with the outward appearance of the building. My friend Perri kept saying I can tell you don't want to be here or eat. I was hesitant and you know what the food was yummilicious.

This same weekend I was joking with a friend about how I thought he was a snob and self centered individual. I had always heard about how cool he was but he always seemed so distant. We had mutual friends that loved him; and I didn't understand how or why but figured hey we all love people for different reasons we know nothing about.

I hesitated to be friends with this individual for a long time. I mean please, he was way too cool for me so how could we be friends.

Interestingly enough, I now consider this individual a really good friend.

So I would like to share my lesson learned this past weekend or reemphasized: Adriana, Don't Judge a Book by It's Cover - you may miss out on a really good thing.

I know, most of you that read this don't need the lesson but I figure if I write it I will maybe get in  in my head.

Spring Break 2012

I was able to do my annual trek to Arizona for Spring Training 2012 this year. This is a ritual I have for my birthday weekend celebration.


I was a witness on Wednesday; drove to Palm Desert and visited with my sister in law as I waited for my brother and niece to come home. Visited with them and hit the road; and four hours later I was in QueenCreek AZ.

On Thursday, Perri and I went to Diablo Stadium and had Doris Day parking. We watched the Kansas City Royals play the Angels. I also did some shopping and purchased a new Angels purse, a new hat, and a Pujols jersey. We then had an early dinner at this diner Joe's Farm Grill in Gilbert AZ. They have their own organic gardens or purchases their produce from the nearest local farmers. We ate outdoors with the scent of orange citruses. The bathroom was a bit different. We went there as it was featured in Diners Drive-Ins and Dives.

Friday - we got up early went to the Mesa temple did a session. Went to the distribution center bought nothing. Then headed to an Emergency Prepareness Store and I purchased a new 72 hour emergency kit to replace the one that was stolen from my car. Then Deseret Book where I purchased a quote from President Uchdortf. Then headed to Maryvale Stadium to watch the Milwaukee Brewers play the Angels. We were going to meet Chris for dinner but his car overheated. So we ate at another Diners Drive-Ins and Dives feature - Chino Bandido. A fusion of Mexican and Chinese food.

Saturday - was an adventure getting out of Perri's house. Then drove back to California,,,no just kidding but I felt like I was going home as I headed out to Surprise. Picked up Chris and headed to watch the Texas Rangers play the Angels. No Diners Drive-Ins and Dives feature just good ol Pei Wei. When I arrived back in QC I had a beautiful birthday cake waiting for me. I also realized another trip to Spring Training was coming to an end.

Sunday - woke up. Showered and loaded my car. Stopped at Quatzside filled up my tank again and talked with some Dodger fans. Stopped in Palm Desert visited with my niece over lunch. Then headed over the mountain. On this day the weather I experienced ranged from 87 degrees in the desert to 42 degrees somewhere on the way home. It was raining when I had to unload my car.

I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to do this trip each year. Next year I plan on going earlier in the month, do the rodeo and the Renaissance Fair. It is good to have such good friends that you are so happy to see and pick up like you were never apart and then hate to leave them. I guess the best way to end this post is with this quote from one of my favorite movies but I would change Goodbye to "See you later".

"How lucky I am to have found someone and something that saying goodbye to is so damned awful."

I am happy!!

I have so many reasons to be happy and grateful and it seems like little things keep happening to knock me down and trust me I have lost my balance but then I pop back up.

So apparently there is more stuff going on at work than I am aware of and it kind of impacts my work. Am I worried, yes just a bit. Did I feel discouraged and frustrated today, you bet I did. Then I realized, we have a good team, good workers. Granted there are some individuals that just don't seem to get it and realize hey we need to make the best product so we can be a leader in our industry. They think because we are part of a big corporation the money is endless and we have no worries. I don't understand that way of thinking. However, overall I am happy with where I work and my job.

So today my Production Manager that resigned seemed more relaxed and we visited. I am sad he is leaving. Why? Well he was my supporter when I arrived and I guess if anyone would ask me if there was anyone on my management team that I trusted whole heartedly it would be him. So I feel as though I am losing my one good friend at work. I know, I know HR has no friends at work and really nobody does.

It is interesting, I feel that our Controller and I are learning to work better with each other and more supportive of each other. In the past he would often come in and tell me he needed this and that and this and that and could I have it ASAP. I would of course do it and push back a bit and challenge him to extrac the data himself as he had the same data I did and he of course has someone reporting to him. Me, I am a solo HR, HSE team. So while I doubt I will confide in the controller as much as my production manager I have someone to joke around with and that is important when you put in long hours.

One of our hourly clerical team members and I were talking and she wanted to make sure I was doing ok and feeling better. I told her I was and that I was happy to be back. She shyly and politely said "When you came back you seemed really happier than usual to be back". I told her "I think you are right I am really happy".

So I challenge you to focuse on the positive, don't let people tear you down, and be happy about all the little things and BIG things you have in life!!

A summary of my first 2 weeks back at work

Tomorrow will mark my 2 week mark back at work post surgery.

The first few days I was wiped...keep in mind my first week consisted of only working 2.5 days. The first day I went in for a drug screen and after enduring an hour and a half of waiting time I finally took my drug screen. I came back to work and when I got the call on Monday morning that I tested positive for Morphine and did I have an explanation I was like WHAT?

I did have morphine during my surgery and post surgery but that was on 1/9/12 here it was 2/22/12 and it was still in my system. I made a call to my OBGYN and the next day I had a doctor's note explaining all the drugs I had been given during my surgery and post surgery. Test results were negative, I still had a job.

The first three nights I would go home completely exhausted and just force myself to stay awake until nine or nine thirty so I did not wake up at two am wide awake.

My first full week I felt much stronger and not as tired at the end of the day. In fact one night I went and had my friend Monica do my hair and then we went to Ramona to eat at Sizzler. Which we followed up by visiting a friend that lives there. I also went to a PB Ward Basketball game and that was super fun.

My apartment is not that clean as I am trying to learn to not overdo it but also keep things in place. I did a lot of laundry this weekend and wonder how do mothers do so much laundry? So as I am still folding and putting stuff away I am seeing some of my laundry beginning to grow again.

Work is good but we have had a few rought months. We finally filled a position that was opened for too long and that person starts on Monday. I was beginning to feel like the good times were finally ahead but today I learned our Production Manager resigned. He is a really good guy and I understand his commute is long and this job keeps him from his family. I often thought of quitting when I first transferred to San Diego but he was the one person I grew to trust and made a pact we were here for the long run. I guess I missed the memo that we were out. I wish him luck but I worry about the impact his departure will have on us. While I was gone our CEO that was based in France also left. A lot of changes happen when you are out for six weeks.

So I am back on the saddle but just a little bit sad but happy. I know that if I keep my head up I will overcome anything and help our employees see that we can do it. I transferred here for the opportunity to be part of a successful team and I still have faith and believe we can do it.