Unemployment Insurance

Here's the story I have never in my professional career filed for unemployment until a couple of weeks.  I thought the process went relatively smooth and easy.  I received my letter that I was eligible for the maximum payout which would be reduced if I worked and earned more than 25% of my eligible amount. 

I did start a retail job PT on July 1 and I just needed that to keep me busy. 

Fast forward to this weekend when I realized I had a voice mail message to call the Texas Workforce Commission.  So it turns out the employer I worked for on a contract position has stated I have not made myself available for work nor notified me. 

The gentleman who asked me some questions was very kind.  I answered his questions honestly and provided him with the dates of the e-mails and correspondence I have had with this organization.  He then provided me with what the employer responded and I just started to tear up. 

I feel like no matter what I just can't catch a break.  He was very sympathetic and told me a final decision had not been made and he would be providing my statement to the claim adjustor who would make a decision.  While it gave me some comfort I was still upset and the man was very kind 

So here I am about to pay my rent for this month and my bills, working a PT job that may reduce my UI benefits but extend them longer and wondering when will I get a job offer.  Everyone I meet with tells me how skilled and how knowledgeable I am.  

In order to receive UI benefits I have to do a job search for three jobs a week.  I do far more than that each week, just this morning I have applied for six jobs.  There were not random but I feel a greater urgency to land that job I need even more so if I am denied UI benefits.  Fortunately, this week I was able to pick up two more shifts at my PT job and I took them because I have no clue when and if I will get UI benefits. 

I never imagined I would find myself in this type of situation.  Do I have regrets - no not really, while I am discouraged and worried I have been in a happier and better place than when I was employed and deal with retaliation and a hostile environment. 

Why I Am Not Married

I was asked this earlier this year by a couple of cute girls I watched on Monday and Tuesdays.  I wasn't sure how to answer that but I did and I don't even recall what I said or how I said it.  However, that question has been asked of me several times this year and so I have been thinking about the M word. 

My mom had an affair with my stepdad and left my dad when I was 6, for my stepdad thinking she was wife #2.  The reality was that she was wife #3 as far as we know.  However, there were many women also in my dads life while he was married to my mom.  

Don't get me wrong my mom's first marriage was not perfect - whose is - my dad worked a lot and was an absent husband and father because of that.  

So somewhere between the age of 9 - 12 I decided I was never going to have kids or get married.  I mean all that would happen is you would get divorced, or have an affair.  Instead I was going to be a career person with lots of money and do anything I wanted. 

So anytime anything serious came along I would sabotage it the best way I could.  There was the one guy that I wrote to while he was on his mission and I eventually let my guard down and he told me I was too good form him, I had a good job, I was in college.  That broke my heart and even more so when out of the blue he called to let me know he was getting married and how he wasn't sure she was the right person since she didn't have all the things I did.  Then the other time I let my guard down and this boy was probably the most caring and supportive person to me - even after we broke up and he showed up to my dads funeral.  He was the one boy I came home after a date and told my roommate at that I didn't know when or how but one day I was going to marry him.  Only to break up with him later because well things were getting too physical and he wanted to maybe go on a mission.  I didn't want us to do something that would keep him from going so I told him we should break up when asked why I said the mission thing and he didn't accept that so I said the words I regret to this day - I just don't really like you.   Then there is TX my total train wreck - I have always known he was not marriage material but hoped maybe and well he just distracted me enough to almost let a decade go by but I will share more about that on another post. 

So fast forward to San Diego time and the talk President Monson during the priesthood session really hit home to me.  He acknowledged that there may be financial or emotional reasons for them to hesitate, or maybe they are just having too much fun — "taking extravagant vacations, buying expensive cars and toys and just generally enjoying the carefree life with your friends" — to settle down.
I felt that applied to me and I remember telling my friend Helaman that I was going to try to be open to dating and marriage but I got sidetracked with work and TX distracting me. 

So here I am 2019, eight years later and I have two little girls asking me why I am not married, do I want to be married.  I have my previous Elder quorum president asking me why I am not going to single activities - don't I want to get married, maybe my husband is praying for me to be at the activity.  I know you are rolling your eyes, I know I did and can't believe I am sharing. 

So the marriage topic has been on my mind.  I now understand what my sister in law once shared with me - her concern that I was not married and that she wanted me to have someone to grow old with and have companionship.  I remember thinking and maybe answering I have my nieces, family and friends I don't need a husband.  Guess what I have had a mind shift as I am understanding more about the companionship.  Maybe because for the first time in years I have not been a part of good friends that are single and support each other.  I have zero single male friends near me - and that has helped me realize that women and men do need that companionship.

In April I heard a talk titled Answers to Prayer.  In summary I was reminded that we have to ask God for our most earnest and worthy desires and remember that those prayers may not be answered in the way we hope, because he has a greater blessing in store.  And sometimes our righteous desires are not given in this life.  I also took a spin on that I have always been so vocal and adamant on all the reasons why I don't want to be married. 

In summary, since April I have taken a new outlook on the M word, I have thought of all the good examples of marriages, the positives of my parents marriage(s), and why I deserve a good companion and can be a good companion to that man.  That guy I said I would marry someday - well he married someone else so that option is out.  So who knows what may or may not happen.  Until then I will keep enjoying the single life and look forward to the future.

School is out and it is summer!!!!

You are probably wondering why I am excited about school being out and it being summer.  So let me explain.

There is no school traffic early in the morning so that is nice.  However, in early February my friend NS got a new job closer to home and needed help with someone to pick up her two girls from school on Mondays and Tuesdays.  I was not working and figured why not, I will do it until I get a job.  So for the past 15 weeks I have had the privilege to park on a crowded street and wait in line, or wait in a long line to get these two cute girls.  

While I have had these girls over for dinner and often said hi to them SS1 was always very shy and sometimes hide behind her mom.  However, as time went by I have seen her become more friendly with me.  I knew I was IN when she saw me somewhere and ran up and gave me a hug.  It totally caught me off guard and it was nice affirmation that we were friends.  The second time was when I was out with her mom and she wanted to talk to me - WHAT!!??  I will say this I felt like I was finally part of the cook kids when these two events happened.   SS2 was naturally friendly and outgoing.

I enjoyed picking these two friends up and I loved their conversations they started with me.  I think my most awkward moment was when they asked why I didn't have kids, followed by why wasn't I married and how they were going to find me a husband.  I felt like i was being called out by a first and second grader about my life choices and fears (I will talk about that in another post soon). 

For the most part we would have a little snack and SS2 even tried guacamole and liked it but asked me to promise to not tell her mom.  I didn't, and she did so it is ok that I post this here.  She was also the mixer of flavored water - it was quite fun.

They even used the pool with me - after living here a year I finally made it to the pool.  It was a warm day but the water was brrrr cold. 

Another fun memory is when my transmission started going bad I borrowed a car like mine but they didn't like it.  They thought it was older and didn't like how hot it was and we had to keep the windows rolled down to cool off on our 2 mile drive back to my place from their school.  They loved the rental car the best.  I think they like my new Sante Fe Hyundai.  Oh yeah, I forgot I did get a new car in April too.  I will share more about that on another post.

One of the last times we decided to not be couch potatoes and we went on a little hike and it was so fun.  It was probably the second time I walked on a Keller trail and I was eaten up and had little bites over my arms and legs. 

For the most parts in the afternoons, we watched a show on Netflix - A Series of Unfortunate Events.  We are somewhere in season 2 and I am unsure if I should continue watching without them or do we have parties. 

I mention parties because they did share with me the last week that they can now come over and have parties with me and go swimming, have snacks, and watch tv.  I think they have given up on finding me a husband.  

I have thoroughly enjoyed spending time with these two sweet girls.  They reminded me about being patient, kind, and to stop and enjoy life.  It was not an inconvenience, it allowed me the opportunity to help someone and in the end it helped me stay sane and enjoy my Monday and Tuesday afternoons. 

478 days later

Yes, ladies and gentleman that is how long I have lived in Texas.  I can't believe it as it has gone by so fast and it has had its up and downs.  

So tonight I realized I was averaging about 2 blogs per month in 2019 but I didn't do anything in March and April is quickly ending so I have to honker down and get to it. 

Tonight's blog is going to be about what I have learned about Texas.

1.  Traffic - What Texans in the metroplex call traffic does not phase me.  I don't consider it traffic and it doesn't bother me when I do for the most part.

2.  Distance -  I don't mind driving for 45 minutes or so to go see friends because in that time I am able to cover give or take 30 - 45 miles.  So while there is not much traffic it just seems like it is forever.

3.  Hail Storms  -  Well we were  expecting one a week ago and everyone was worried (including me about the possibility of golf size hail falling from the sky.  It was quite a hype but nothing ever came of it.  A lot of hype for nothing which is normal for weather but in TX weather is quite unpredictable. 

4.  Rain  -  In CA people we go into complete chaos when we have consistent drizzle - which we call rain but is not.  In TX there really is big rain drops and while I don't mind being home watching the rain - I do not like driving in it in TX when it is just pouring but I do enjoy sitting at home or laying in bed listening to the thunder and seeing the lightning.  

5.  Bless Your Soul/Heart  -  Sounds like a term of endearment and caring, and it can be.  But it can also be precursor to an insult to soften the blow.

6.  Rain boots  -  I always wanted a pair in CA because they look so cute but just couldn't bring myself to spend the money.  I now wear them most of the time when it rains because there are real life size puddles.

7.  Whataburger  -  Texans think this is the best burger in the world.  Not me I am an In-N-Out girl.

8.  Dr. Pepper  -  Drink of choice for Texans and I can't explain or understand why.  If I was going to have soda it would be a Cherry Coke all the way!!!

9.  Frito-Lay  -  The chip company of choice in Texas.  I don't get it as I don't really eat or buy chips. 

10.  Manners  -  People are so polite in TX even the children.  I am still taken back when I hear yes, mam.  I am too California as I do not do yes, sir or yes, mam but I have had it slip one or twice.  I do say please and thank you because my mom taught me manners.

So there you go a few of the things I have learned in the last 478 days that are different between CA and TX.

#ocgirlintx

What Have I Been Doing This Year?

So you now know that I resigned from my job and my last day was January 3, 2019.
You also know I am looking for a job.

What else do I do?

Well let me make a quick list to give you a summary of what I have been doing. 

1.  I set a goal to do at least 30 minutes of exercise every day.  I modified that during the first week to five days a week.  I also found myself doing an hour or so.  Half hour just doesn't seem enough on some days and other days, like today it seems like too much.  It is cold and rainy and I freeze.  Don't worry after I post I will do something - I promise.

2.  In my church we are a lay ministry and I was called/assigned to be Relief Society Compassionate Service Assistant Coordinator.  Relief Society is the women’s organization of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  So I did a lot of service one week and things seem to be ok (knock on wood).  But seriously - I had a lot of joy helping people out with some things. 

3.  I set out to read some books I have been listening to or reading.  I have quite a list and so far I am into these three boss.  
The Four Agreements - it is a quick easy read but I am not going so quick.  I hope to finish it this week.  

Girl Wash Your Face - I have been wanting to buy this book but just wouldn't let myself do it.  I thought I wash my face I don't need this book.  However, after sharing with my friend Cindy how I was reading books she recommended I pick this up.  I am listening to it in audio and I am loving it.  Rachel is so real and I feel like we would be good friends or at least have fun talking.  She is the reader in the audio book and I can really relate to some of the things she points out in her book.  I am probably 1/3 in and I am enjoying it. 

The Big Leap - I am enjoying this book as well.  I am learning so much about myself with this book and how I limit myself or keep myself from truly enjoying the things I have.  I am 3/4 in with this book and I am enjoying it. 

The Big Book of 30-Day Challenges - This book was easy read of all.  A lot of the lists are/were things I am trying to do so that makes me feel like I am on the right path of being in control of my life.  I am currently working on making my bed every day for 30 days.  I do it about 3/4 of the time so doing it for 30 days is going to be huge.  The other challenge that I was going to start this week was to get up at 5 AM every day.  I know that one is kind of doable if I was working but why do it now?  I think it will make it easy to get back to the work routine when I find the job I really want. 

4.  I help my friends with their kids.  I am able to help those people who have helped my life in Keller absolutely awesome.  I pick them up from the bus stop, or I pick them up from school and have them spend some time in my apartment and we color or play games, or most recently I pick them up from their extra curricular activities.  

5.  I am able to have lunch with ladies I would never have the opportunity to spend time with as I would be at work and I really enjoy getting to know them better and establish new friendships.

All in all, I am making the most of my time in trying to improve myself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.  So when I am not looking for a job, applying, interviewing this is what I do.

Looking for a Job

I began looking for a job in early November and it is hard to find a job while you have a job in my opinion.  Doing phone interviews is easy but scheduling a face to face in person interview is hard.  I had at least two where things were being setup and I would have to reschedule because my work had to come first.  This is what led to my decision in resigning.  

The first few days I was off I was surprised I had done such a gutsy move to move on without a job and that I had planned a trip to Arizona to attend a health and wellness conference for the wellness company that I am a part of.  I made a commitment to myself that I would have to apply to ten jobs each day, work out every day and just keep busy.  I can honestly say I think I did apply to ten jobs the first day; working out I am trying to do that and modified my goal a couple of times - that's another opportunity to blog. 

I do look for opportunities every day.  I apply to the ones that I think I am the best fit for and I wait.  I have done phone, Skype, WhatsApp, video, and in person interviews.  I was offered a job on the spot but it was rescinded by the time I was home because the manager reflected on my hesitation to accept and decided I was not a team player.  I have been completely ghosted by headhunters after they have reassured me I was the top candidate. 

While I have not applied to ten jobs every day I am sure I have applied to at least 100 since January 4.  

• Am I discouraged ?  Not yet.  
• Am I disappointed ? Not really, OK maybe a little.  
• Have I learned anything?  Yes, or at least I have reinforced what I already knew from the recruiting I have done.  If someone takes the time to complete your application, spend time with you on the phone, drive to your office for an interview.  Be transparent, let them know when you have chosen to go with another candidate.  Why?  Because that individual took time from their schedule to see if there was a good match.  Maybe they were not this time and maybe down the line your paths will cross and they may not consider you because of how you treated them during the interview process and it is no wonder candidates ghost recruiters as recruiters ghost candidates. 

Today was a holiday and I appreciated the headhunter who called me today that the company I interviewed with last week has opted to pursue another candidate.  The phone interview I thought I had an interview with today did not happen and I even called the recruiter to follow up.  I applied to a couple of positions and I have done three loads of laundry that I must now go fold.  BTW right after I posted this I received the call for my phone interview 5 minutes before the call.  😅  I think it went well.

Oh and if you have a job that you think I would be good at - call me, maybe!?

Hello 2019

I know it seems a little odd in what is the second half of February to be writing a post welcoming the new year.  That just goes to show that I have not been blogging as much and kept my family and friends updated.  Well actually my family and some of my friends always know what mischief or crazy idea I come up with.  However, I also realized this past week that a lot of people do not know what has been going on - even though my sister in law would say I put my life out there - I do keep a lot to myself.

On Thursday, January 3 I closed the short chapter of working for the City as the Human Resources Manager.  I learned a lot about what goes on to keep a city running and I also learned that in some ways government work is no different than the private sector and in my opinion it is probably more political and less transparent.  

I became disillusioned and knew I couldn't continue working there and my decision was reaffirmed when my direct managers response to my turning in my resignation was "Awesome" and didn't talk to me until a week and a half later.  At first I said I wasn't sure if it was sarcasm or joy but I did know it was not professional.  

Some people told me I should have stayed there until I found a job and maybe they were right in some way.  However, I didn't think I could  actively look for a job while I had a job.  I also needed to really decided what was important to me and how would I achieve getting to that point with an employer.  I do know one thing, I have realized and that is, while I never saw myself working at LISI for almost eleven years I had a great run there and I would like to find that kind of opportunity again. 

So in short there you have it, I resigned from a job where I was not being provided with opportunities to use my knowledge or skills.  I was being limited and isolated and it made me very unhappy.  So rather than let one individual tear me down and put me down - I opted to break free, I chose to go find a happier environment.   So thank you for saying "Awesome" it helped me realize that I am a stronger and happier person.