Some days set your world on fire

and some days they sink like stones. That's when your heart will cry out, until your body is numb.

Yes, that is how I am feeling lately. I feel like some days my world is on fire and nothing can go wrong even when I feel stones pulling me down. Yet I can't manage to let my heart cry out. I tried and even seeing The Impossible was not enough.

So today I went on a little break and drove to Elfin Forest while playing On the Road very loud and enjoyed the following lyrics:

So when the sun is coming up and you go..and there's still so many things you don't know
Don't you look back, got no doubt that I will see you on the road
and when the world's laying you low
why don't you let me carry your load
when things get bad
you know you'll have the friends all along the road

Which helped me think of the following things that are sinking me down and what I can do to feel better.

I am not going to Tempe to see the Angels play in spring training and that could be part of my blah feeling.  I usually do this trek for my birthday and see Perri but this year there are time constrains due to work obligations. -  I am breaking down and getting cable so I can watch some Angels games this season (and Deadliest Catch) - please tell me this will cure my blues over not seeing Angels game live.

I keep thinking a lot about my mom and missing her. I think the reason for that is because my cousin Vero and Elisa are posting about their dad's health situation. I see pictures of him and I imagine what my mom would look like at this time if she were alive and it saddens me a little to know I don't have a mom and that my cousins are now dealing with aging parents. I hope I can snap out of this soon or at least by May. To make me feel better I am thinking I am going to frame a couple of my mom's pictures and hang them up at my place.

I am missing my cousins in Mexico. It has been a few years since I saw some of them and we have gone through longer periods of time of not seeing each other. Yet I miss them and think of how when we were younger we lived so close together, visited often and then it stopped. We are all now adults spread throughout Mexico and CA and virtually strangers. However FB has kept us connected in a small way. Not sure if this will be possible but I am going to plan a trip to Mexico maybe for December or early 2014 and I would like to see my family in the Yucatan Peninsula, Mexico City, Queretaro and Leon and maybe Cabo.

Then there is the fact that my youngest niece is graduating in May. I love my nieces and nephew so much but with N graduating it signifies the end of an era. The era where the kids are kids and I am an adult. We are all now adults and I wonder wait how did I get so old and what do I do now? Sounds silly I know. I haven't come up with a game plan for this one; I think I am trying to figure out how to hold the tears back at NCL presentation, graduation and Bravo. Once I get through that I am sure things will be great. Which reminds me I need to find out how last week went for N and E at the 24 hours thing they were doing at PDHS.