Isn't she lovely

My sweet young niece went to her prom this Saturday night. I can still remember when she was a toddler and would be so excited for me to come visit her. Time is flying by and today I have been reflecting as I keep looking at a family picture I will soon replace. Her older sister is graduating from college next weekend and I am fortunate to be able to attend. This little girl will soon be in college and I am not prepared - it means my youth is fading away and my future is in the hand of these amazing nieces and nephew I am priviliged to have. Soon I will be miles and hours away from being able to get a strong loving hug from this sweet girl. I love her to infinity and beyond.
She says she is my favorite but I have been fortunate to spend more time with her than her older siblings. They all came into our family at the time I needed them the most. My youngest niece was born a year after my mother passed and I was going through a rough time. She brought joy, hope and love back into perspective. She holds a very special place in my heart.

15 months and wham another accident

So up until last February 2011 I was on a car accident cycle of every 18 to 20 months. I have now lowered it to 15 months.

This Friday as I was driving to my friends house in Oceanside to go to Time Out For Women I was sitting in dead stop traffic. I was less than a mile away (most accidents happen close to home or your destination) and I was a little concerned that I was late due to some employee issues at work delaying my leaving the office. So as I was completely stopped in traffic I put my head down and said a little prayer. I asked that I may have patience as there was clearly an accident up the road and that while I was running late...I understood I would be more delayed and was grateful that I was not part of an accident. I also asked the people that may be involved would be safe and not harmed and then I got hit.

The driver was a young lady who got out of her car with phone in hand saying sorry I am in a rush and didn't see you stop are you ok? My respond was that my neck got jerked and I was completely stopped and reiterated what I was doing. She looked at me with a funny face...I guess praying for patience in traffic is not a common practice.

So this morning I called a claim in to her insurance company. I didn't have the right policy number and had to call her to get it. She didn't sound to happy to hear from me. She wouldn't give me her policy number as she said she didn't have it so I asked for her address. She did give that to me and that was sufficient to open a claim.

Am I discouraged? A little, I am wondering when this car accident karma is going away. I am also worried about how good her insurance company will be.

Yet I am grateful that my accident was minor compared to the truck and bicycle I saw in the accident. I still pray and hope the people in the accident are well this morning. My damage is minimal to what I had in my previous accidents and I got back in my car and drove away to a very spritually uplifting weekend.

Emotions are Energy in Motion

So this weekend I was fortunate to attend Time Out For Women in Long Beach. I was truly lifted and felt so many of the presenters had messages that I could draw from to be stronger and closer to my Father in Heaven.
Julie De Azevedo Hanks talked about emotions and let me tell you I had some emotions.
Sometimes people (we) misunderstand things that are said but we don't stop for clarification of what is meant. Today I made a comment and I meant it in the most positive way of being a Bigger Better Deal. The person has a big heart is better than most and is a deal because they welcome people into their life freely no expectations. Not many people do that these days and that is such a rarity and so priceless. Anyhow, while I did not define the detailed definition above it was taken in a negative physical way. As soon as I realized this I felt horrible and tried to clarify the solution. See I felt terrible (an Emotion) that set me into motion to correct things.
Unfortunately, I was faced with a big No when I said I was so sorry and wanted to explain what I meant.
This created more emotions in me as I realized how hurt this person was and it hurt me so much to hear the No. Why? Well I don't think anyone likes to be denied the opportunity to make things right. However, I understand why the person felt that way. I also learned some valuable things. 


One - We may think friends and family know us well but sometimes they don't. We all have our insecurities and concerns and while we know our family/friends care about us when they say something to us that maybe sounds offensive but isn't we get upset and our feelings get hurt. The other person may or may not feel horrible about the situation. Me, I felt horrible because I would never try to hurt this person in a negative joking way. So while I was hurt by the tone and the NO it set got some energy going and made me evaluate what kind of friend I am to my friends. 


Two - I hope and pray that when someone says something that is hurtful to me I find the capacity to ask for clarification of what has been said and I am open to allowing the person to explain and apologize. And if I have ever said no to a person I truly hope they will accept my apology.


Three - I lied, I was so hurt and uncomfortable. I know it sounds silly but I felt totally uncomfortable around the person I was suffering from BAWNWA Syndrome (Being Around When Not Wanted Around Syndrome) so I left for a little while. I used a little white lie of how I needed to go pick something up from my friends house. Which led to another lie when I was asked if I had fun at my friends house. Well maybe that was a half lie as I did feel better talking to someone who I confided in how I felt but it was not fun. I really should have said no, I didn't have fun and I feel awful. 
This also made me reflect on how grateful I am for our Heavenly Father who never says no to us even when we make huge mistakes. Which makes my lie even worse as I wasn't honest; but I hope he knows the feelings and the reasons that were in my heart for lying. 


So as I have cried a few tears of how I hurt someone by their misunderstanding my comment, and how they chose to respond to my apology. I understand how it was misunderstood, I understand why they were hurt and I am chosing to understand their not wanting to let me apologize or clarify what I meant by my statement.


I am also glad they helped me learn the following: I obviously need to be a better person and have patience and forgiveness in my heart when I am hurt which is maybe why this happened.

So busy these days!!!

I already have a lot to do today as I need to leave early to go to my shift at the SD Temple so I was playing some church music to keep me calm and focused on all the things I have to do before tomorrow and yet still have the Spirit with me.

I am heading to LB for the Time Out For Women Conference I am looking forward to this and it should be a lot of fun. However, I have a lot to do to get ready. I can't account for some money that I thought I should have but I don't in one of my checking accounts. My e-mail account had someone attempt to log in unsuccessfully so I had to change my password. Oh and I have to complete traffic school online by the 14th of this month. There is other things I have on my mind but I am putting those aside and tyring to prioritize and focus on the important things.


So the song that I kept repeating in my car on the way to the credit union is "Burn in Me" by Jenny Phillips. I love this song because it reminds me of the time I was in the stake choir and we sang it for a women's conference. It really hit home and as I focused on scripture study the words really rang truth to my ears. The

Here are the lyrics and remember - or maybe I should I say. I need to fill my life with the important things and not rush around to meet everybodies needs thus neglecting my own.

There is no time it seems

Your rushing to meet everybodies needs
There is no time to breath
How quickly I could fill my life
With less important things


I'm hungry and I'm empty
Till your words reach deep inside
I humbly drink from waters peak
That fills me with pride
Your teachings have the power that I seek
And the spirit of the things I read
Burns in me


Sometimes we think we're strong
Pushing on through days that seam so long
I try to carry on
But without the daily bread of life I'm barely hanging on

I'm hungry and I'm empty


Till your words reach deep in side
I humble drink from waters peak
That fills me with pride
Your teachings have the power that I seek
And the spirit of the things I read
Burns in me

I pray
I ponder
I'm thirsty
I read and know that you hear me

I pray
I ponder
I'm thirsty
I read and know that you hear me

I pray
I ponder
I'm thirsty
I read and know that you hear me


I'm hungary and I'm empty
Till your words reach deep inside
I humble drink from waters peak
That fills me with pride
Your teachings have the power that I seek
And the spirit of the things I read
Burns in me

Blah

I am at work and all I see out my window is grey skies and I don't like it one bit at all. I received some information about a job in Phoenix AZ and it sounds interesting but seriously? Why do I get this now. I am in a funk at work but I like my job and I like San Diego.
Phoenix is nice and it would be fun but it is so dang HOT!!
My solution - put a good cd on and not worry what people think about my listening to music today I just need some sunshine!!!

What Would You Do?

So picture this we are at Winco at the candy barrel section.

Little boy about 8 walks by us and stops between us with a handful and mouthful of M&M's.

Perri (P) - Did you pay for that?

Little Boy (LB) - Huh

P - I asked you, did you pay for that?

LB - Huh

P - you know you are not supposed to just eat that

Father walks around the corner after putting something in his mouth

P - Did he pay for that?

F- Huh

Me thinking and laughing - Apple didn't fall too far from the tree huh?

P - He has a handful and a mouthful of candy and that is stealing

F - Oh I didn't know he did that

P - and I suppose you didn't know you had a mouthful of food in your mouth

F - I thought we were at Sprouts

P - Sprouts? This doesn't look like Sprouts and Sprouts doesn't allow sampling either.

By this time I am laughing hysterically and people are just walking by.

As they walk away apologizing, Perri looks at me and says I had to do that what if I was on "What Would You Do". Keep in mind I asked her to watch that the night before.

The father was polite but dumb. I love that P does not mind calling people out and she is so lucky nobody has gone wacko on her.

AZ Weekend

This weekend was a lot of fun and quite interesting. The Monday before I was to leave I had a sore throat the next day I could hardly swallow. I made it up to Wednesday and called in sick on Thursday when my ringing ears woke me up at 2:30 am. So here is my bullet point summary. As time allows I will provide more details.

Friday - started my drive down the 8. As I was drinking lots of water to get rid of this cold I soon found myself stopping every 1/2 hour to take a bio break. At this rate I felt I would never get there. However, I made it in 6 hours. I got there before Perri was off work so I got a pedicure and then we met up for Thai food. That night we just relaxed, talked and watched TV.

Saturday - woke up early when my sil called to see if I was going to my nieces dance show. Then I received another call from my other friend letting me know he was not going to make it to the BBQ festival. This made me realize how much harder it must be to see your parents grow old and face illnesses. I was young and my mother was ill from the time I was 12 or 13. People tell me that must have been hard but to me it was my life.
I jumped in the pool laid out and then ventured out to Gilbert to meet my other friend for lunch. I waited for an hour and then realized she had been inside eating. We visited quickly and while it was comical it was great to at least see her for a few minutes.
Headed back to the house relaxed and then headed to Winco and the BBQ Festival. We had a "What Would You Do" episode occur thanks to Perri confronting a little kid with a mouthful and handful of candy at a barrell. This event deserves its own blog.
We made it to the festival and had yummy food and great seats. We even were encouraged to dance by a fun cute couple there. Got back to the house did a swim before midnight and then played Phase 10 with a music trivia game at the same time. Went to bed around 3

Sunday - woke up packed up cleaned up and left a little after 12. Stopped in Palm Desert and spent some time with my family.

I realized this weekend how blessed I am to have a good job that allows me to do fun things for my friends and myself.